| k. this one's gonna be a long one. with nostalgia undertones from the good ol' days of livejournal! yer welcome. |
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| let's rewind a bit. couple months ago i bought a concert ticket to ville valo's upcoming NYC gig as a super early birthday gift to myself. which was the initial reason for me to take that trip at all in the first place, or my excuse thereafter, anyway. |
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| at the time that i bought the ticket, the tour had not started yet. it did in january. now living in the era that we do, it was just a matter of time before fan concert videos would start popping up on youtube. |
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| OK, swear to gawd...i could NOT believe ville was still wearing—even on stage—the same black baggy businessman outfit only showing off part of his tattoo i dislike the most + hideous grandpa hat (w/ hair all tucked underneath) which he'd constantly been wearing while doing promo stuff. 1st night, 2nd night, e-v-e-r-y freakin' night. honestly, not sure if he's a got an entire wardrobe full of the same clothes (like nikocado avocado and his infamous red shirts from waaamaart 😂) or actually does laundry every day?? anyhow. did i ever mention how much i hate that f*cking hat??? well i do, now. very un-rock n' roll. but perhaps i digress. although he does look a whole lot more like a french painter or train conductor rather than a rockstar nowadays. |
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| on top of that, something overall just feels...wrong. his stage presence is not the same as before. by FAR. truth is i can hear him singing, i can tell this is him singing (underneath the clothing distraction) as his unique absolutely still stunning voice peeks through, HOWEVER... cannot shake the feeling of watching someone sort of blankly karaoke-singing to his own songs. or a look-alike impostor singing to his songs, ya know?? ok 😜 J/K!! but damnit. ughhh. |
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| btw i do realize that this post comes off as me being an entitled b*tch as most die-hard fans would probably disagree and throw tomatoes my way. believe me, i really wish i was washing my dishes instead of writing those somewhat dramatic and sad words. yes, pains me a little to write such crap about somebody totally inspiring in many respects. but the thing is, i need an outlet and what better way than to dump all this on my personal blog which nobody reads but myself. wooo ooo. |
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| i guess what it all comes down to: i just can’t get the anticipation going from the 2023 gigs. all i'm seeing is a performer on stage who might've lost his spark and appears stiff and/or uncomfortable whenever he moves around and needs to figure out what to do with hands now that he’s not smoking and awkwardly handles the microphone and occasionally re-ajust his hat. ouuchh. i know. i knowww. but i swear, every time i'm watching one of those videos my brain switches to WTF-mode trying to find traces of a younger VV in there, because it can hardly process the clash of the before/after. to me it's truly like night and day. |
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| i know what i like and what i don't like. quite clearly in fact. unfortunately, i cannot force myself to like this "updated version(?)" of himself. even if singing such hits of "funeral of hearts". but with any chance perhaps he'll get more at ease as the tour progresses?? *sigh* is it even fair comparing this tour to some of H.I.M performances that were so raw and powerful? |
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| decades ago he was the epitome of a born-rockstar. according to my quite humble opinion/taste, even when i wasn't a fan per say, cuz-yes-i-still-knew-who-he-was: the guy clearly had it ALL. the looks (dear gawd the looks), the somewhat edgy/badass/cocky attitude, the constant twinkle in his eyes, shall i say the occasional f***-me look in this eyes, the smirks, either on stage or TV mesmerizing presence downright to every little move and gesture (garrr how he'd cling on to the mic stand while singing), smart and witty, rad or sometimes edgy clothing that would always compliment his silhouette, not to forget that rad sleeve tattoo we’re not getting to see live at all anymore. if that were at all your cup of tea, one could hardly take his/her eyes off of him. HOLY SH*T. sure, he was tipsy a lot of the time. but for fuck's sake what a spectacle it was. |
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| i understand he's now touring without the band members he's known for years and that can be weird. i understand he's a couple years out of practice playing the rockstar. i understand he's sober now and that can be a gamechanger, but then again, he HAS performed live several times past getting sober and it wasn't anything like that. maybe he's just getting old(er). well, at 46?! nahhh. it can't be an age thing. just the other day i happened to watch nick cave live performing "jubilee street" + "from her to eternity" FLABBERGASTED IN AWE (haven't seen nick live in too long i'd almost forgotten)...and he's in sixties. !!! right. don't even the have words. fdlfjdlfjsdkljfkds |
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| anyway. don't know what the f*ck happened with him; not that it's any of my business, mind you. but it happened. |
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| = no more of this: |
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| ...in this lifetime or any other lifetime. *cries* |
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| i guess i'm just slightly bitter cuz i know i missed out. H.I.M = R.I.P and has been for years and and i'll never ever ever get to feel that energy live. meanwhile coming to the realization that maybe i'm a lot more a fan of the ex-band rather than the singer (although he's still got the most beautiful voice evaaaaaaar and forever). |
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| sooo... |
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| i'm actually thinking this might be a dealbreaker, even though i already purchased the ticket. very sadly. i'll still be going to NYC cuz god knows I need to get out of here and see the world again and already put in too much $$, but perhaps doing something else altogether for my b-day. |
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| yep. meh. |
