| SUNDAY, MARCH 1ST; |
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| room ready before finalising the adoption @ tropicazoo:
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| π§‘! here he is:
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| & back home:
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| what's worse than pet grief? i guess what's worse than get grief is adopting another kitten 5 months after your ginger cat passes away & 3 months after your older calico cat passes away, and ultimately finding out you're not meshing once he's already inside your house. is this rather taboo talking about this topic? after all, how can you not loooove a cute beige kitten who's a total purring machine?
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| i keep telling myself it's not his fault nor is it mine but rather an unfortunate mismatch. over and over again.
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| the plan was to initially put him in my remote work room on the first day. two main reasons: A) only sufficiently large room in the house where i can keep a door shut without any other way for access; B) so he could come out of his shell at his own pace until he can get introduced to punky.....AH AAHHH AH!!!!! turns out it didn't even take 5 minutes for him to climb up to the ceiling once i opened up his cage. absolutely no kidding. he's 5 months old—nibbling at everything and clearly overactive however he did not show any sign of this at the pet shop—and it makes every bit of sense to him "tornadoing" his way through all of my belongings. goes without saying that i had to act extremely fast moving my entire work setup outta there (i.e.: wires/laptop/screens/keyboard) and also a chunk of my deco.
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| although he's soooo darn cute...
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| pains me to my core, but, i don't think it's match this time.
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| truth be told i had sort of a little breakdown. mom & chantal came over to see him. right there and then, i just knew. i knew i wouldn't be able to keep him in the long run. my anxiety through the roof, barely able to eat and having crying fits. i feel like shit for a lot of reasons. some blurry or others not so much. one of them being that i'll have to keep him locked up in that one room for an undetermined amount of time instead of trying to slowly introduce him to punky, since it's now pointless knowing i'm not keeping him. btw i'm not taking any of this lightly. i'm aware that this is the biggest f*ck up i've done in a long, loooong time.
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| ideally this kitten would best thrive in a family with kids having high energy instead of with a calm "head in the clouds" single lady hoarding vintage trinkets all over her damn house. i'll be trying to rehome him within the next couple days if finding a better match; if that fails i suppose i'll be bringing him back to the pet shop with a $500 loss into my pockets. yeah i know, adopting from a pet shop is likely frowned up in this new culture where shelters remain the more sensible thing to do... but when you don't drive or own a car, it makes the whole process with shelters rather difficult. did i still act too fast? why oh why did not keep my initial idea to get a pair of kitten so they could comfort and entertain each other?? am i too f*cked up to own cats anymore? just seems i don't freakin' know anything at this point and honestly i'd just want to sleep if only my sleep wasn't this shitty being too anxious about this ordeal.
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| for all i know, he's a perfectly normal kitten currently stuck with a girl who didn't allow herself enough time to properly grieve. i mean... i was NOT buying a kitten to replace mémère or coconut. but in the end, little did i know this adventure would be a trigger to re-open wide open these wounds on how i had the not-perfect-yet-bestest cats in the world and they're never coming back again.
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